Our family's house is on fire... 

Would we trust a "knight in golden armor" who, from his tower in the Golden City, watched our house burn for a long time, then suddenly appears when our house is 1/2 burnt, carrying a strange-looking red can? 

"Is that gasoline?" we ask.

"Gasoline?" he laughs. "No! It's strong stuff!" he says. "Great stuff!"

"How much does it cost?"  

"Don't worry!" the "knight" says, "It's magic! Someone else will pay for it! You alone will gain the whole world!" 

Eyeing our desperation, the "knight" throws the "magic liquid" on our house. But the gasoline causes our house to rapidly burn to the the ground. 

"We thought you said it was 'magic stuff'?!" we cry, realizing with horror it's too late to stop the "knight's" self-fulfilling prophecies.

Soon after, we're handed the costly bill for "putting out the fire." Unable to pay a bill that no one can pay, the "knight" labels us "criminal" and put us in prison for the "crime" of homelessness.

On the telescreens, we see the masses falling into line, saluting the "knight in golden armor," as he worships his "strong," "godlike" surveillance of everyone from the rooftop of the casino he built on "his" valuable real estate, where our home once stood.

Through our prison bars, we see the "knight" building more prisons, telling the masses his countless prisons is "law and order." 

We hear the screams of those who lose everything in the "knight's" great casino, as they're rounded up, beaten and killed by the casino's burgeoning "security" guards.

Should one put 100% of one's faith into the grand "promises" of a "knight in golden armor" and his "magic liquid"? 

Or is it better to make absolutely certain we have enough firefighters, who will stand firm against the inferno, to put out the fire with fire extinguisher, not "magic liquid"?

Is it also better to have enough electricians who fully understand the faulty wiring that led to the fire?

Is it better to fully support those with stars of gold in their spirits, who have proven themselves by true sacrifice, who have put their lives on the line on behalf of not only our own home, but our whole neighborhood where we all must live? 

To never, ever, ever surrender the dream of home, for all... 

 Nero: Romans love Nero! Nero's public performances at the Coliseum are music to their ears!

Cincinnatus: Your "music" is the tune played by the Pied Piper. We won't get fooled again.

Nero: My Romans have no responsibilities or duties in my glorious State! My Romans will build our beautiful wall, not only in Britannia but everywhere in Rome, which will ensure that Rome will always be 100% secure. Rome will live forever! All security comes from total faith in my great personality, my great wall, and my great State. That is the only way! And the barbarians are going to pay for fortress Rome.
 
Cincinnatus: Others will not willingly pay for your countless walls Nero. Rome must go to war yet again if you intend to force other peoples in other nations to pay for everything under the sun you desire. Will the children of Nero fight in this new war with Parthia and countless other nations? How many will die in Nero's wars? Will the children of Nero ever fight beside the children of the countless working poor Romans? Even those Romans who sing your praises KNOW your children refuse to fight beside their countrymen on the battlefields where true sacrifice is made.
 
Nero: I've made many sacrifices! The crowds believe when they see those who deny me eaten by the lions, when they hear me speak on the glowing stage of the Coliseum!
 
Cincinnatus: Yet when you speak to the crowds, you do not tell the WHOLE truth. You do not mention Rome's wealthiest patrons will certainly not pay for your expensive wall. Not even Nero has the power to control where the world's money goes. And those who have attempted to gain so much power attempted to do so by slaughtering millions of their fellow human beings. Is what you propose truly "freedom and security"? The true costs of too much power are too high, costs which cannot be paid by men. These powers are therefore reserved only for the gods. Nero, your "big ideas" have been tried a thousand times by Caesar, by Caligula and by countless others, in a thousand failed dictatorships.
 
Nero: Humor me then Cincinnatus. What's good and fair? Who do you claim will pay, as they should, if not the barbarians?
 
Cincinnatus: Nero, you know well the ways of Earthly business: For years you have been in the public eye. You have made many attempts to become Emperor, and anyone can see you have spent most of your life much like the other wealthiest patrons of Rome. As much as anyone, you gained your riches by Roman "laws" which favored you, by playing both sides, and through others' labors in the wide-ranging slave system you now suddenly claim to take notice of.

Nero: I never said I was perfect! The people trust me because I speak my mind!

Cincinnatus: Whatever I say is backed up by my life and blood. But every word you say has nothing whatsoever to back it up in the real world. You merely say anything the people want to hear, to take advantage of their anger and frustrations, to get you what you want.  

Nero: Nonsense! Everyone else has failed these people! They know it's time to shake things up.

Cincinnatus: How many times in your career did you face life and death, not for yourself, but for all of the people, not for the State, but for their non-negotiable rights and freedoms? You didn't need to think everything through carefully because you did not make the kinds of sacrifices which compel one to consider all aspects. And you FALSELY claim that the people's rights and freedoms are negotiable.

Nero: You're an idiot.

Cincinnatus: Like all the other Patrons of Rome, you follow the footsteps of Caligula. You and those under your patronage remain far away from the battlefields. EXACTLY like those you condemn, for more than three decades, you enlarged your estates buying up the lands of those who were away fighting, even as you bought your own special favors through patronage. Like the other Patrons, your friends are not the downtrodden Romans whom you claim to care so much about. Rather, your friends are a few Romans at the top in the richest city where you made your career, and there is no doubt the master they work for is also your master. What true security for ALL can possibly come from building expensive walls, feeding more people to the lions and building more prisons? Your interests are not the interests of the people. You refuse to address the actual ROOT causes of Rome's problems, which no wall can ever solve. Like the Wolf in Sheep's Clothing, you disguise the truth by claiming to tell the truth.

Nero: Everyone else is corrupt! I'm the only one who is honest! 

Cincinnatus: Are you trustworthy when your State registers human beings before feeding them to the lions? Are you trustworthy when you spit on the graves of those who sacrificed everything by publicly quoting the dictator Caesar with no shame? Are you trustworthy when your State, a State more powerful than Caligula's, tortures, when soldiers who are put in more danger by your love of torture and crimes, swear personal allegiance to you rather than the Republic, turning their backs on their sacred responsibilities and duties, on humanity itself, and the gods? I fought for the Republic, and I do not trust you one bit Nero. I have no faith in you, your followers, your "glorious walls," or your State. Like Pharaoh and his pyramids, Nero has no intention whatsoever of paying for his "beautiful" wall himself, but Nero will have Roman slaves pay all the true costs, increasing their taxes and burdens. Your "glorious" wall won't provide one bit of real security, economic or otherwise, to the Roman people, but serves to glorify Nero's name, to further Nero's foolish, never-ending pursuit of ever more riches and ever more power.

Guard: Hail the Emperor!
 
Nero: Why do you not kneel to me, Cincinnatus? Is it not I, Nero, who sacrifices and makes Rome great? I and I alone have made Rome great again! Greater than ever!
 
Cincinnatus: It is not duty and honor, or the people, whom you want to be great. But rather it is Nero’s State which has replaced Caligula’s State.
 
Nero: What are you saying?
 
Cincinnatus: You made many large and grand promises to understandably angry crowds who lost too much as a result of following Caligula, who claimed: "Always low prices, never true costs." Yet, was it not Caligula’s system which enlarged your riches, Nero, before you were crowned Emperor?
 
Nero: Caligula was my father's friend, not mine!
 
Cincinnatus: Yet, like your father, you served Caligula's system. Like those who follow you today, you remained silent for more than three decades in favor of Caligula's system as it grew larger and larger, spreading itself across the Mediterranean, making slaves of those in Roman provinces sweating in the shops and fields.

Nero: You lie!

Cincinnatus: Nero, you profited in money and fame far more than most Romans, by the very system you now condemn. That is why, no matter what you say to the crowds, it is in the State that you place all of your faith. It is your personal glory, embodied in Caligula’s State, which now has become Nero’s State.

Nero: I have made many sacrifices!

Cincinnatus: It is personal glory that you love, not personal sacrifice. You do not truly love the Republic, or the rights of humanity.

Freedom cannot exist without responsibility.

Jay Gummer of Morgantown Public Library (MPL) shared this video of me performing my hilarious cat poem:"Queen Lubu: The Chief Executive Cat" at the library (Spruce Street, Morgantown, West Virginia.)

(For the full run-down on MPL's January literary performance event, go here. Many talented folks were involved with this event. Here's a huge shout out to Jay & Bonnie Mullins Dwire of the library for all their great work organizing. Much love & appreciation Jay & Bonnie!)

For those wondering, YES, "Queen Lubu" is BASED ON a real cat I'm friends with & love very much. The real cat is not nearly as demanding as the fictional cat in the poem. I took my poetic license full throttle here. Therefore, many of the qualities of the fictional cat are exaggerated for comic effect.

For example, the real cat does not actually say: "Fetch my food, meow, meow, NOW!"

The real cat does not ACTUALLY speak English. If she does, she's not telling me, anyhow.

"Queen Lubu" was written a few years back. I thank my good friend Emily Jewson for listening to the early versions.

I'd originally wanted to write a series of cat poems about cats I knew, some in my trailer park, some that were friends of my friends, cats we ended up feeding while our friends were gone, etc. I even bought a cat mythology book to study cats (& their human counterparts) throughout history (partly as curiosity & partly in an effort to aid my poetic efforts). I ended up writing about three or four cat poems. Among these other poems is one about a couple of male cats who live together and share bowls. Then I have another one involving Bastet (which the Morgantown Poets have heard). This heroic cat clawing the eye of the pyramid could have shown up in my novel, "The STARLING Connection."

"Queen Lubu" is the funniest of my cat poems. The Morgantown Poets have gotten a kick out of it at Monongalia Arts Center & folks also seemed to enjoy it in Preston County. I performed "Queen Lubu" in Kingwood in December at the Christmas Tea & Treats event (thanks Georgeann Swiger & Patricia Patteson). Someone snatched up a copy of "Queen Lubu" soon after the performance, so I was glad to let that particular cat poem get adopted to a good home. Patricia had some great suggestions about what to do with this poem. Thanks Patricia & glad you enjoyed this fun poetry.

I'm fortunate to know several folks involved in the dynamic comedy community here in North-Central West Virginia. These are the folks who do stand-up comedy, which I have mad respect for, because I think it's tough to be a one-person show. On top of that, you have to make people laugh. You'd think making people laugh is easy, but sometimes it's not. Believe it or not, there are people out there with no sense of humor (n.s.o.h.)

When I was a kid it was easier to laugh. Then things happened which apparently dulled my sense of humor. It was still there, but was being unused, like it was packed into the attic, you know the attic with a hole in the roof so that the sense of humor gets encased in a big block of ice. There were a few years I was sliding around in the icy attic with those folks with n.s.o.h. Fortunately, I was rescued by a talented group of folks I've been lucky to see warming everyone's hearts with great comedy (& other work), Tawnya Drake, Kasey Kesner, Seret Cole, Mara Monaghan, Christian Cox, Lauren Swann, The Fearless Fools & many others (including the comedians who've performed at 4th N Goal on Walnut Street).

Huge thanks to comedian Steve Goff for the excellent comedy writing workshop he did awhile back at Bridgeport Public Library. Steve always inspires me to do better by getting more humor into my work. Thanks Steve!

OK I've written enough here for a Sunday & I'm sure you have better things to do. Like listen to cat poems on the Internet. As if the Internet needs more cat humor.

Looks like my friends have roped me into watchin'  Super Bowl 50.

Luv my friends! 'Cuz they know how nuts I am about fooSball ;-) #jokes

Seriously, if Lady Gaga's singing the National Anthem, I'm THERE.

Now I'd better Gaggle who's playing.

Better NOT be New England.

Update (2/14/16): "Not that I have anything against New or Old England (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

#humor

february 5 2016 #morgantown #WestVirginia Mon snowmelt River life flow traffic like platelets streets like veins aqua sky w bits of marshmallow

What did the snowflake say to the raindrop?

"I used to be just like you. Tearful. Running all over the place."

What did the raindrop say to the snowflake?

"I used to be just like you. Cold. Frozen."

#jokes #snowmageddon2016 #RT bookmark: theodorewebb.com

We had a zombie-fun evening last week at Morgantown Public Library, complete with cat poems + plus a glimpse into a possible dystopian future (which we have the potential to change with consciousness: Hope exists!)

My deepest thanks to Jay Gummer and Bonnie Mullins Dwire of the library on Spruce Street. Jay and Bonnie went above & beyond to get the word out, prepare for & make the event happen. I appreciate Jay, Bonnie & the entire library staff beyond words. Jay also had a great idea to hang the large zombie poster (see pics above, thanks to artist Ashton EB Cutright-Bray who did the original art in 2014.)

Speaking of zombies, the talented Mara Monaghan & Derek Brown of the original "Zombie Texts from the Future" premier joined us to reprise the infamous "ketchup scene." Mara directed the original show at Monongalia Arts Center and has acted and directed/co-directed numerous productions atM.T. Pockets Theatre. Derek, who played the fictional character of obsessive Richard Nash in "Zombie Texts," easily stepped back into the role, garnering laughs from the audience. My hat's off to Mara & Derek, two talented actors. Much appreciation to Derek & Mara & everyone in the original cast, which also included Donnelle Bohnke, Sadie Crow, Tracy Lynch, and Josh Rocchi, as well as a special appearance by Amy Wong Loomis, David Loomis & Gretchen Corona of Swing Dance WVU. Much love!

Mara & Derek are hard acts to follow, but I did my best salute to "Queen Loo-Boo," a humorous poem about a fictional royal (& quite demanding!) cat based on a (in real life, cool, sweet) cat loved by me & friend Emily Jewson.

After that, I went forward to the future, taking on the voice of Simon Laramie, the 15-year-old narrator of my dystopian novel,The STARLING Connection. I read the 1st chapter, "The World Under Watch," describing the Orwellian 2045 world in which Simon and his friends struggle to exercise their freedom of speech. I followed "World Under Watch" with "Lifeline," the chapter describing Simon being severely bullied. In the dystopian artificially "connected" world of 2045 in which all the kids are totally absorbed in Alternate Reality (A.R.) on SUPERNET, only one student who refuses to live her whole life in A.R. has the courage to stand up to the bullies and reach out to save a life, the tough-minded, hard-charging Jaya Ceyes. Love you Jaya! Love you Simon! (As I told folks during the reading, although fictional, I feel I know Jaya, Simon & my other characters. I've spent a lot of time with them & they feel real to me. So I love them like any friends.)

Out of all the chapters in The STARLING Connection, I feel "Lifeline's" the most important. I'm thankful I had a chance at our local library to share the book's anti-bullying message. I was glad to see a few kids in the audience. I hope as The STARLING Connection gets further out into the world, this book will help encourage folks to reach out, to be a friend and to save a life. Encouraging people to reach out and make a real connection is the purpose of The STARLING Connection, the reason I wrote the book. (For those who couldn't make it to the library reading, check out the free sample of The STARLING Connection here.)

I appreciate everyone in the audience and enjoyed chatting with Nicole Townsend, Cierra Elizabeth Carr, Patricia Hopper Patteson, Glenn Gallagher and other folks. Big thanks to Michael Nikolaus who contributed to the food table! I appreciate your support. Patricia is the author of the "Kilpara," a novel about an Irish-American family returning to their roots. If you have a fond spot in your heart for Ireland, I encourage folks to check out "Kilpara." Patricia & I go way back with the Morgantown Writers Group (MWG) which meets at Morgantown Public Library. We also had a great time back in December doing a reading together with several other West Virginia authors at Kingwood Public Library in Preston County. Special thanks to Patricia for always being a friend of writing and for sharing her stories, both in the United States and in Ireland. I also want to thank early readers and reviewers of The STARLING Connection, including Tamara Woods (penpaperpad.com) Scott Emerson & Morgantown Poets, Michelle Bowser, Joseph Madia Jr. (Seven Stories Theatre Company), Phil Anderson & Charlotte Firestone (Spiral Spark), Kevin E. Lake, Carmen Fullmer, Bill Reger-Nash and others. It's because of these folks the book got off the ground and continues to make progress. Much love to you all!

Last, but not least, I'd like to thank Geordie Smith of Paragon Print & Design, 549 Beechurst Avenue, Morgantown, West Virginia, for going above & beyond to make sure we had paper copies of the full-length STARLING Connection available to the public for the first time. We'd had a bad snow storm a few days before the reading & things were a bit tight. But Geordie made it happen. I'm a huge fan and supporter of local businesses & am proud to have the current print copies printed by Paragon. Paragon is a great resource for anyone with business printing needs in the community and is conveniently located for West Virginia University students who need copies of research papers or other documents.

I'm thankful for the support, friendship & encouragement of folks in the Morgantown community. I'm glad to be writing here & it's your friendship that inspires me to keep writing and to work harder. I can't think of a better way to kick of 2016 than doing an event at Morgantown Public Library. I'm looking forward to being out and about sharing my work in person more throughout the year.

Speaking of which, I'll be sharing poetry at the open mic at Morgantown Poets at 7 p.m. this Thursday, Jan. 21, at Monongalia Arts Center (this is free & open to the public, so join us!) and I've recently linked up with poets Avery Williamson, Caleb Milne, and Matt Jarrett, as well as several talented mixed media artists and musicians, involved with the new artist collective in town, The Bench. The Bench is a fantastic idea bringing together many different artists and voices to get Art further out into / personally connected with the community.

So stay tuned here at theodorewebb.com for upcoming events, stories, poems & more in 2016. You can also catch me at my author page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theodorewebbauthor & on Twitter: @theodoretedwebb. Note: A very few of the locally printed PAPER hard copies of The STARLING Connection and limited edition original scripts from the 2014 premier of "Zombie Texts from the Future" are currently available (though I'm not sure how long, there are not many...) If you want a paper copy of either, be sure you get in touch with me as soon as possible, or you can catch me around town.

The Morgantown Public Library's Evening with an Author series kicks off the new year with Theodore Webb at 6:30 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 14. The Morgantown Public Library is located at 373 Spruce St. Morgantown, West Virginia 26505. (Go here for Directions.)

"The Starling Connection" Local Print Editions

Does true friendship exist in the year 2045? Fifteen year old Simon Laramie is trying to survive high school and a world where supercomputer-controlled Drones patrol the skies, where massive Reconditioning Centers rule the land, and PATRIOT SECURITY constantly watches everyone. As one of the “invisible kids” left out of everything at Briarwood Public High School, Simon faces life-threatening bullying. At a critical moment in his life that seems without hope, Simon crosses paths with Jaya Ceyes (“Keys”), a rebellious, hard-charging senior with a mysterious burn scar on her face. Despite the deeper scars crossing her spirit, Jaya has survived determined to place her life on the line for what she believes in.

"The STARLING Connection" is young adult Dystopian fiction, appropriate for middle school students with parental supervision, teenagers 15 & up, as well as parents/family members/teachers/adults who are interested in what's happening today with technology, education and human rights.

"STARLING" Themes include: Education, Anti-Bullying, Technology, Inequality, Social Justice & more.

"Zombie Texts from the Future" COLLECTOR SCRIPTS FROM PREMIER / ORIGINAL 1ST SHOW

The artwork for the original "Zombie Texts" script and poster was done by Ashton EB Cutright-Bray. She is a multifaceted artist and co-owner of Side Street Gallery at 450 Scotts Run Rd. (here in Monongalia County). Webb appreciates Ashton for doing this art & helping to make the play successful last year when it was performed at the Monongalia Arts Center.

Webb will be sharing his books at the Morgantown Public Library through a reading, question and answer session, signing and selling. The acceptable method of payment is cash.

Theodore Webb is the author of "Lifeline," "Crucible," "Colossus" and "Inferno," which comprise "The STARLING Connection," the first four books in "The STARLING Series," available for Kindle on Amazon.com. He has composed numerous poems, including "America in Dreams," published by Pine Mountain Sand & Gravel, and is the author of the short stories, "Desperate Engine" available on Amazon and "Family Hour" available in various formats on Smashwords.com. Webb frequently updates his blog, http://www.theodorewebb.com, which features books, authors, various artists, events, writing tips, news, ideas and personal thoughts about various subjects of interest such as freedom of thought/speech, security, privacy, human rights, warfare, society and economics.