Looks like my friends have roped me into watchin'  Super Bowl 50.

Luv my friends! 'Cuz they know how nuts I am about fooSball ;-) #jokes

Seriously, if Lady Gaga's singing the National Anthem, I'm THERE.

Now I'd better Gaggle who's playing.

Better NOT be New England.

Update (2/14/16): "Not that I have anything against New or Old England (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

#humor

february 5 2016 #morgantown #WestVirginia Mon snowmelt River life flow traffic like platelets streets like veins aqua sky w bits of marshmallow

What did the snowflake say to the raindrop?

"I used to be just like you. Tearful. Running all over the place."

What did the raindrop say to the snowflake?

"I used to be just like you. Cold. Frozen."

#jokes #snowmageddon2016 #RT bookmark: theodorewebb.com

We had a zombie-fun evening last week at Morgantown Public Library, complete with cat poems + plus a glimpse into a possible dystopian future (which we have the potential to change with consciousness: Hope exists!)

My deepest thanks to Jay Gummer and Bonnie Mullins Dwire of the library on Spruce Street. Jay and Bonnie went above & beyond to get the word out, prepare for & make the event happen. I appreciate Jay, Bonnie & the entire library staff beyond words. Jay also had a great idea to hang the large zombie poster (see pics above, thanks to artist Ashton EB Cutright-Bray who did the original art in 2014.)

Speaking of zombies, the talented Mara Monaghan & Derek Brown of the original "Zombie Texts from the Future" premier joined us to reprise the infamous "ketchup scene." Mara directed the original show at Monongalia Arts Center and has acted and directed/co-directed numerous productions atM.T. Pockets Theatre. Derek, who played the fictional character of obsessive Richard Nash in "Zombie Texts," easily stepped back into the role, garnering laughs from the audience. My hat's off to Mara & Derek, two talented actors. Much appreciation to Derek & Mara & everyone in the original cast, which also included Donnelle Bohnke, Sadie Crow, Tracy Lynch, and Josh Rocchi, as well as a special appearance by Amy Wong Loomis, David Loomis & Gretchen Corona of Swing Dance WVU. Much love!

Mara & Derek are hard acts to follow, but I did my best salute to "Queen Loo-Boo," a humorous poem about a fictional royal (& quite demanding!) cat based on a (in real life, cool, sweet) cat loved by me & friend Emily Jewson.

After that, I went forward to the future, taking on the voice of Simon Laramie, the 15-year-old narrator of my dystopian novel,The STARLING Connection. I read the 1st chapter, "The World Under Watch," describing the Orwellian 2045 world in which Simon and his friends struggle to exercise their freedom of speech. I followed "World Under Watch" with "Lifeline," the chapter describing Simon being severely bullied. In the dystopian artificially "connected" world of 2045 in which all the kids are totally absorbed in Alternate Reality (A.R.) on SUPERNET, only one student who refuses to live her whole life in A.R. has the courage to stand up to the bullies and reach out to save a life, the tough-minded, hard-charging Jaya Ceyes. Love you Jaya! Love you Simon! (As I told folks during the reading, although fictional, I feel I know Jaya, Simon & my other characters. I've spent a lot of time with them & they feel real to me. So I love them like any friends.)

Out of all the chapters in The STARLING Connection, I feel "Lifeline's" the most important. I'm thankful I had a chance at our local library to share the book's anti-bullying message. I was glad to see a few kids in the audience. I hope as The STARLING Connection gets further out into the world, this book will help encourage folks to reach out, to be a friend and to save a life. Encouraging people to reach out and make a real connection is the purpose of The STARLING Connection, the reason I wrote the book. (For those who couldn't make it to the library reading, check out the free sample of The STARLING Connection here.)

I appreciate everyone in the audience and enjoyed chatting with Nicole Townsend, Cierra Elizabeth Carr, Patricia Hopper Patteson, Glenn Gallagher and other folks. Big thanks to Michael Nikolaus who contributed to the food table! I appreciate your support. Patricia is the author of the "Kilpara," a novel about an Irish-American family returning to their roots. If you have a fond spot in your heart for Ireland, I encourage folks to check out "Kilpara." Patricia & I go way back with the Morgantown Writers Group (MWG) which meets at Morgantown Public Library. We also had a great time back in December doing a reading together with several other West Virginia authors at Kingwood Public Library in Preston County. Special thanks to Patricia for always being a friend of writing and for sharing her stories, both in the United States and in Ireland. I also want to thank early readers and reviewers of The STARLING Connection, including Tamara Woods (penpaperpad.com) Scott Emerson & Morgantown Poets, Michelle Bowser, Joseph Madia Jr. (Seven Stories Theatre Company), Phil Anderson & Charlotte Firestone (Spiral Spark), Kevin E. Lake, Carmen Fullmer, Bill Reger-Nash and others. It's because of these folks the book got off the ground and continues to make progress. Much love to you all!

Last, but not least, I'd like to thank Geordie Smith of Paragon Print & Design, 549 Beechurst Avenue, Morgantown, West Virginia, for going above & beyond to make sure we had paper copies of the full-length STARLING Connection available to the public for the first time. We'd had a bad snow storm a few days before the reading & things were a bit tight. But Geordie made it happen. I'm a huge fan and supporter of local businesses & am proud to have the current print copies printed by Paragon. Paragon is a great resource for anyone with business printing needs in the community and is conveniently located for West Virginia University students who need copies of research papers or other documents.

I'm thankful for the support, friendship & encouragement of folks in the Morgantown community. I'm glad to be writing here & it's your friendship that inspires me to keep writing and to work harder. I can't think of a better way to kick of 2016 than doing an event at Morgantown Public Library. I'm looking forward to being out and about sharing my work in person more throughout the year.

Speaking of which, I'll be sharing poetry at the open mic at Morgantown Poets at 7 p.m. this Thursday, Jan. 21, at Monongalia Arts Center (this is free & open to the public, so join us!) and I've recently linked up with poets Avery Williamson, Caleb Milne, and Matt Jarrett, as well as several talented mixed media artists and musicians, involved with the new artist collective in town, The Bench. The Bench is a fantastic idea bringing together many different artists and voices to get Art further out into / personally connected with the community.

So stay tuned here at theodorewebb.com for upcoming events, stories, poems & more in 2016. You can also catch me at my author page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theodorewebbauthor & on Twitter: @theodoretedwebb. Note: A very few of the locally printed PAPER hard copies of The STARLING Connection and limited edition original scripts from the 2014 premier of "Zombie Texts from the Future" are currently available (though I'm not sure how long, there are not many...) If you want a paper copy of either, be sure you get in touch with me as soon as possible, or you can catch me around town.

The Morgantown Public Library's Evening with an Author series kicks off the new year with Theodore Webb at 6:30 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 14. The Morgantown Public Library is located at 373 Spruce St. Morgantown, West Virginia 26505. (Go here for Directions.)

"The Starling Connection" Local Print Editions

Does true friendship exist in the year 2045? Fifteen year old Simon Laramie is trying to survive high school and a world where supercomputer-controlled Drones patrol the skies, where massive Reconditioning Centers rule the land, and PATRIOT SECURITY constantly watches everyone. As one of the “invisible kids” left out of everything at Briarwood Public High School, Simon faces life-threatening bullying. At a critical moment in his life that seems without hope, Simon crosses paths with Jaya Ceyes (“Keys”), a rebellious, hard-charging senior with a mysterious burn scar on her face. Despite the deeper scars crossing her spirit, Jaya has survived determined to place her life on the line for what she believes in.

"The STARLING Connection" is young adult Dystopian fiction, appropriate for middle school students with parental supervision, teenagers 15 & up, as well as parents/family members/teachers/adults who are interested in what's happening today with technology, education and human rights.

"STARLING" Themes include: Education, Anti-Bullying, Technology, Inequality, Social Justice & more.

"Zombie Texts from the Future" COLLECTOR SCRIPTS FROM PREMIER / ORIGINAL 1ST SHOW

The artwork for the original "Zombie Texts" script and poster was done by Ashton EB Cutright-Bray. She is a multifaceted artist and co-owner of Side Street Gallery at 450 Scotts Run Rd. (here in Monongalia County). Webb appreciates Ashton for doing this art & helping to make the play successful last year when it was performed at the Monongalia Arts Center.

Webb will be sharing his books at the Morgantown Public Library through a reading, question and answer session, signing and selling. The acceptable method of payment is cash.

Theodore Webb is the author of "Lifeline," "Crucible," "Colossus" and "Inferno," which comprise "The STARLING Connection," the first four books in "The STARLING Series," available for Kindle on Amazon.com. He has composed numerous poems, including "America in Dreams," published by Pine Mountain Sand & Gravel, and is the author of the short stories, "Desperate Engine" available on Amazon and "Family Hour" available in various formats on Smashwords.com. Webb frequently updates his blog, http://www.theodorewebb.com, which features books, authors, various artists, events, writing tips, news, ideas and personal thoughts about various subjects of interest such as freedom of thought/speech, security, privacy, human rights, warfare, society and economics.

Feeding so much Deer food to the Leprechauns didn’t bother Mr. Wolf because Mr. Wolf ate MEAT.

His schemes ensured he always had far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, FAR more to eat than all the other animals.

Mr. Wolf liked to eat his MEAT and didn't believe in ANY Limits. Mr. Wolf Believed in Mr. Wolf.

Furthermore, Mr. Wolf knew that confiscating the vast bulk of the Forests’ growth, while rationing tiny bits and pieces of the growth, and the resulting Desperation and Fear, helped him maintain his total power and position at the top of the food chain.

Mr. Wolf’s Tangled Rationing ensured the Rabbits and Deer Would Increasingly Suffer and Increasingly Fight each other.

The Huge Scheme enabled Mr. Wolf to Conduct His Own Plans, to Do Whatever He Pleased, as No One was Paying Careful Attention to the Greedy Vines Growing Thicker and More Extensive throughout the Canopy, choking the Entire Forest.

The Tangled Vines caused too many trees’ fruit to die and too few trees grew to shade and protect ALL the animals of the forest.

As Mr. Wolf’s Self-Fulfilling Prophecies manifested their Rotten Fruit, and as More Rabbits Naturally Grew Wilder, due to serious crimes against animals enabled by Mr. Glow Box's Misdirection and Mr. Wolf’s Scheme (Stealing nearly ALL the Food and the Powerful Leprechauns Killing TOO MANY Rabbits and Killing Also Rabbit Children in their Holes), Mr. Wolf Saw Yet another Opportunity for Himself.

Hiding out Behind his Great Walls in his Fortress at the Commanding Heights of Wolf Tower, behind his Super Zip Code and under the full power and protection of HIS Shock and Awe Leprechauns, who were focused 100% on protecting Mr. Wolf’s interests, Mr. Wolf Made Sure One of the Wildest Rabbits was Let Loose among the Deer.

"Look!" the Deer cried. "A Wild Rabbit is Among Us! What Must We Do, Mr. Wolf?"

"A Traitor Has Let Loose this Terrible Rabbit Among You!" Mr. Wolf said Through His Intermediary, Mr. Glow Box. "But All the Bad Things Will Never Happen Again Because Only I Am Strong and Only I Know What to Do.”

Protected by Leprechauns, Mr. Wolf didn't put his own life (or those of his pups) on the line to back up anything he said or claimed to believe or support. However, he was quite willing to leave the dying to others and others children. Mr. Wolf's own wolf pups were shielded from suffering the Horrors suffered by Deer and Rabbits. The concept of Selfless Service, though well known to the Bucks who had broken their antlers, was quite foreign to Mr. Wolf, although he claimed to be "one of the deer" and "for the deer."

Yet, Mr. Wolf brandished the deer horns he had found on the ground, as he spoke to the herd.

“Because All of Us Deer Are in Constant Existential Danger All the Time Everywhere, Day and Night, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 Days A Year, the Only Possible Way to Keep Everyone PERFECTLY Safe is to Register Not Only the Rabbits, but ALSO ALL THE DEER, so that I Can Be Certain to See Every Single Thing that Happens in the Forest in an Omniscient Manner and Know What ALL Animals are Doing All the Time."

Mr. Glow Box echoed the same Big Promise over and over and over and over: "Put Your Total and Complete Faith in Mr. Wolf’s Omniscience! Put Your Total Trust in Leprechauns! This is the ONLY Way Mr. Wolf can Fully Protect You and Your Fawns and Stop All the Bad Scary Things from Happening!"

Mr. Wolf waved the horns above the herd: "Deer Power!"

"Yes! Yes! Deer Power! Deer Power!" cried the Deer who were more terrified than ever, thanks to Mr. Wolf, Mr. Glow Box and the Tangled Vines.

"You and You Alone Are All-Powerful, Mr. Wolf. We Put All of our Faith into You, Mr. Wolf, Your Infinite Wisdom. We Depend on Your Goodness and Benevolence, and No Other. Register Us Too! We WANT You to Register Us! We LOVE You, Mr. Wolf! We LOVE Registration!”

“PLEASE Mr. Wolf!” the Deer begged, crawling like sickly worms on their starving bellies through the filthy dirt to lick the bloody paws of Mr. Wolf.

Mr. Wolf smiled from his Throne, for the first time letting just a glint of his fangs appear.

“PLEASE Register ALL of Us Deer too! Register ALL the Animals in the Entire Forest!  Keep All of Us Deer Perfectly Safe Mr. Wolf! Take Away All of Our Fear! We beg you!"

Fear is how the once free and healthy Deer Herd Enthusiastically Surrendered Themselves to Be Registered:

Ultimately, Registered under the EXACT SAME Animal Registration the Deer had earlier forced on the Rabbits.

Fear is how it came to be that ALL THE ANIMALS  IN THE FOREST WERE TAGGED AND REGISTERED AND UNDER THE TOTAL POWER OF MR. WOLF AND HIS LEPRECHAUNS.

Within a Few Short Months after ALL Animals had been Registered, the Forest Was Empty.

Millions of Rabbits AND Deer were DEAD.  

Millions of Rabbits AND Deer, as well as Squirrels, Groundhogs, and Countless Other Animals, in the Forest that was supposed to be Home to ALL Animals were DEAD because Mr. Wolf Had No Higher Predator. Mr. Wolf had been allowed by the Deer Herd to run Wild for far too long, with zero responsibility and accountability.

Mr. Wolf’s Tangled Vines Had Killed All the Mountain Lions and Bears. The Forest had lost all Balance. The Deer, Blinded by Fear, were unable to see Mr. Wolf for who he truly was. It was too late.

Mr. Wolf had Grown Much Fatter and Hungrier than the Forest.

With the assistance of Mr. Glow Box, Mr. Wolf Had Cleverly Registered ALL the Rabbits and the Deer at His Luxury Restaurant Where He Dined on Rabbit Stew and Deer Steak Served on Gold Plates.

One Deer or One Rabbit to fill his stomach is never enough for Mr. Wolf.

Mr. Wolf Has Been Burning the Entire Forest to Roast Such a Terrible Amount of Meat at His Extravagant Table.

Should the Wolf run wild and loose until the whole Earth is scorched?

Until not even a single Living Tree remains?

So, as the Deer wished, Mr. Wolf Unleashed His Leprechauns upon the Rabbits.

As Many, Many, Many, MANY Rabbits were Killed, including Rabbit Children, and All Remaining Rabbits (“They’re all the same!” yelled Mr. Wolf) Put into One Box and Registered, Mr. Wolf Told Mr. Glow Box to Get Ever Closer to the Deer and to their Fawns.
 
Mr. Wolf Instructed Mr. Glow Box to Glow Brighter than Ever and to Repeat, Repeat, Repeat The Single Dimension Mr. Wolf Wanted the Deer to See Everything In.

Mr. Wolf Knew if Mr. Glow Box Could Keep the Deer Always Seeing Everything Only in Mr. Wolf’s Single Dimension, namely the Flat Screen of Mr. Glow Box’s Projection, the Deer Would Never Be able to Clearly See or Fully Understand the multi-dimensional Root Causes of their Problems. And if the Deer Could Never Know, Understand, Consider and Openly Admit the Root Cause of their Problems, then Those Problems Would Never Be Solved and their Fear Would Never Go Away.

Mr. Wolf Certainly Did NOT Want the Deer to Look Closely at the Tangled Vines or Who Most Benefited from them.

After All the Rabbits Had Been Registered, the Deer Were More Afraid Than Ever Before. The clever Mr. Wolf smiled when he saw the deer running around more frantically than ever, because Mr. Wolf Knew Beforehand that, like the Rise of the Leprechauns, the Act of Registering the Rabbits Had Its Own Strange Power Demonstrating Mr. Wolf’s Total Control which resulted in UNBALANCE, VAST INJUSTICE AND EXTREME INEQUALITY.

Thus, such an act of Registration and artificially dividing the animals further into Rabbits, Deer, etc., Would NOT actually Make the Deer Feel Safe, but would instead be highly effective in FEEDING the Bottomless, Empty Hole of Insatiable Fear and Desperation among the Deer, Much like a Hunter's Salt Block. The More of Mr. Wolf’s Bitter Salt the Deer Ate, the More Thirsty and Fearful They Became. And the more they looked to Mr. Wolf to protect them.

With the level of Fear Raised to the Highest Level, the Deer begged Mr. Wolf to protect the herd, to be their Chief Executive Officer.

When Mr. Wolf had obtained ever Greater Powers, He and His Leprechauns stole 99% of the Rabbits' Food. But Mr. Wolf Cleverly Gave the Rabbits' Food to Those among the Deer Who Used the Fur from Dead Rabbits to Make Their Own Wolf Tails, to Better Show Mr. Wolf Their Total Faith in Deer Power (which was Really Wolf Power) and their unfounded trust in Mr. Wolf’s Vast System of Tangled Vines Encompassing the Forest.

And because the Deer and Rabbits Distrusted Each Other and Because The Leprechauns Served Mr. Wolf, Mr. Wolf Secretly Kept for Himself and his Leprechauns 99% of the Total Food Across the Whole Forest; Food that was once available to both Deer and Rabbits. To Get the Energy to Kill and Register so Many Rabbits, the Leprechauns ATE EVER MORE DEER FOOD. And the MORE the Leprechauns Killed, the MORE they ATE. To persecute the Rabbits, Mr. Wolf had to feed the Leprechauns more and more and MORE Deer food, until in the end, 99% of Deer had very little food.

STAY TUNED to theodorewebb.com for PART 6 of Theodore Webb's DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS: MR. WOLF'S LUXURY RESTAURANT. In the meantime,check out my books:

Despite the Best Efforts of Mr. Glow Box, Thoughtful Deer Questioned Mr. Wolf's Plan.

Then Mr. Wolf Told All the Deer: "Any Deer Who Question My Plan Are Weak and Will Put You in Danger! If You Are Not With the Herd, You Are Against the Herd!"

When the Deer heard this, a stampede ensued and all the Deer who questioned Mr. Wolf were stampeded and killed by the hooves of the herd.

Despite his many appearances via Mr. Glow Box, Mr. Wolf Kept One Very Important Thing Secret and Did Not Tell the Deer the FULL Truth:

That it was he, Mr. Wolf Who Had the Most to Do with the Real Underlying Cause of the Something Bad that Happened, which he was also able to Ruthlessly Exploit. Mr. Wolf certainly Did NOT tell the Deer that it was He, Mr. Wolf, who had Planted the Vines at the Roots of the Trees, that it was He, Mr. Wolf, who diligently fed and watered the vines for many years, benefiting from the vines, and that it was He, Mr. Wolf, who was responsible for the Tangled System of Vines Choking the Forest Entire, first at the Canopy, then disturbing the Roots of all the Trees.

Mr. Wolf also Certainly Did NOT tell the Deer that Leprechauns ATE TOO MUCH DEER FOOD.

"Yes! Yes! Mr. Wolf! Deer are GREAT! Deer are GREATER Than the Forest! GREATER than the Soil! Greater than the Rain! Greater than the Great Forest Spirit! Reign down your Leprechauns into Every Rabbit Hole and Field!”
 
The Deer continued,

“Yes! Yes! Mr. Wolf! We believe in you and in every word you say. You, Mr. Wolf, truly love us and have only Deer best interests at heart! Yes, it is absolutely true your Smart Leprechauns are 100% capable of Killing ALL the Bad Rabbits in Existence Forever and Ever and solving all our problems! Force the Rabbits to Register! We Believe in You, Mr. Wolf! Only You and Your Leprechauns Are Powerful. Only Your Will, Mr. Wolf, Protects Us!" cried the Deer, Who Ignored  the Will of the Great Father of the Forest, the Great Spirit, Who Had Told Them: "Do NOT Fear."

STAY TUNED to theodorewebb.com for PART 5 of Theodore Webb's DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS: MR. WOLF'S LUXURY RESTAURANT. In the meantime,check out my books: 

"Look! Mr. Wolf Wears Antlers. Mr. Wolf is Strong! He Speaks His Mind and Always Speaks the FULL Truth Because He Tells Us So!" the Deer Cried. "We Believe in You, Mr. Wolf! What Must We Do so We Can Be Relieved of This Terrible Fear?"

"Everything is Simple. Everything is Easy. Deer are Great," Mr. Wolf replied, according to his public motto which he repeated over and over via Mr. Glow Box. "Whatever the Weak Will Not Do to Protect You, I Will Do, Because I Am Strong. I Will Take Strong Action and Immediately Put a Micro Leprechaun Beneath the Skin of the Terrible Rabbits Who Are Causing All Our Problems So that The Terrible Rabbits Can Be Properly Registered. This may sound 'bad,' but I don’t care! Believe me, this is only temporary, just until we know what’s going on with Rabbits.”

Mr. Wolf continued his speech, which appealed to many frightened and angry Deer.

"I Love Deer! Deer are the Greatest Animals in the Forest! Great & Noble Deer:You Can 100% Count on Mr. Wolf to Put the Most Powerful Leprechauns in Every Rabbit Hole to Kill All the Bad Rabbits. The Leprechauns will Register All the Remaining Rabbits, because it is all so simple: Deer are Great! Deer are Greater than the Forest! Greater than Anything! But All Rabbits are the Same, and Rabbits Cannot be Trusted. My Smart Leprechauns are 100% Perfect and Perfectly Capable of Picking Out and Killing Only the Bad Leprechauns.”

Mr. Wolf continued,

“Leprechauns are the best and truest friends of Deer, because only Leprechauns can bring Deer Everything Deer Hearts Could Ever Desire. Leprechauns can make All Deer Dreams Come True and No One Could Ever Be Harmed by Such Dreams of Possessing Everything under the Sun! But to accomplish such Noble Dreams worthy of Great Deer, Leprechauns Must Always Report Exclusively to Me, So I Can See and Know Everything at All Times. ONLY Killing MORE Rabbits and Rabbit Registration Will Keep Everyone Safe, Give Deer Everything They Desire and Protect Deer from the Big Scary! This is the ONLY way!"

STAY TUNED to theodorewebb.com for PART 4 of Theodore Webb's DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS: MR. WOLF'S LUXURY RESTAURANT. In the meantime,check out my books: 

Mr. Glow Box Positioned Himself Always Near the Grass Where Each and Every Deer Slept.

Those Who Were Not As Afraid as Mr. Wolf Liked "Benefited" from Mr. Glow Box's Efforts. After Spending Their Days with Mr. Glow Box, Nearly All the Deer Seemed to Each Other to Be Thinking the Same Thoughts While Exhibiting What Mr. Wolf Thought was the "Proper Level of Fear." This is when Mr. Wolf Could Make the Most of His Opportunity.

Mr. Wolf Found a Large Set of Deer Antlers in the Woods and Put the Deer Antlers on His Head to Make Himself Appear as a Big, Strong Deer so That He Would Be More Easily Accepted by the Deer.

"Fellow Deer! See My Antlers! I'm One of You! I'm Strong. And I Have the Only Answer to the Big Scary!" Mr. Wolf said.

"There is Only One Way to Not Be Afraid of the Big Scary Ever Again. Only I, Mr. Wolf, Can Protect You! Put all your faith and trust in me!"

STAY TUNED to theodorewebb.com for PART 3 of Theodore Webb's DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS: MR. WOLF'S LUXURY RESTAURANT. In the meantime, check out my books: