Theodore Webb
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The Painter Who Painted the Whole House with One Brush

4/17/2017

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A homeowner hired a painter to paint a house. The owner supplied the painter everything needed to do a good job.

"I travel to many towns to take care of my business," the owner told the painter. "Can you handle painting the outside and the inside of the house?"

"No problem!" the painter said. "I'll take care of everything!"

When the homeowner returned a month later, he was shocked to see the whole house was painted red! The entire outside and every room and fixture was the same color.

"Why on Earth have you painted every part of my house red?!" the owner asked. "I provided you with several kinds of paint and many brushes!"

The painter grumbled, "Don't question me! I've been doing this for years! Believe me, red is the best! Red will keep everyone perfectly safe from those terrible termites!"

The owner noticed the painter had used only one large flat brush to paint the whole house. With the heavy flat brush, the painter had spilled red all over the floors. The owner also found out that while he was away, the painter had sold the owner's brushes and paints, keeping the money for himself. Even worse, the painter had hidden sugar around the foundation to attract termites.

"'Termites,' huh? 'Red is the best,' huh? What nonsense!" the Owner said. "THIEF! Get off my property!"

The owner then hired an artist he knew for certain wouldn't paint the whole house with one brush. The owner and his whole family lived in the house many years and later sold the house for a good profit.

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Teenagers battle constant surveillance in Theodore Webb's “The STARLING Connection.” “Family Hour,” depicts cubicle imprisonment. A returning vet takes action in “Desperate Engine.” “Is Freedom on the Menu?” was published in “Diner Stories” by Mountain State Press. Webb's zombie comedy-mystery "Zombie Texts from the Future" was performed Oct. 29-Nov. 1, 2014 at Monongalia Arts Center, Morgantown, West Virginia. Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/theodorewebbauthor; Twitter @theodoretedwebb


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